Sunday, April 17, 2016

Oh I come from a land from a far away place...

They have bushy untamed eyebrows, two rows of long eyelashes and long fit legs. They sport a fat backside and large, tough lips.  They have incredible control over their nostrils and fashion a huge moose knuckle. No folks, the neat animal of the week isn't a transvestite BJ hooker who's top half resembles a cocaine invaded Eugene Levy and bottoms like Kim Kardashian wearing nothing but spandex bike shorts exposing her giant smuggled yo-yo.  IT'S A CAMEL!!!

Courtesy wikipedia images
There are 2 kinds of camels in the mundo: Bactrian, or Central/East Asian camels which have 2 humps and dromedaries, which are Arabian camels with one hump which we will primarily focus on as the NAOTW. 

The Black Eyed Peas (a hiphop/pop group for those who lived under a pile of sand in the 2000s) provided a very profound question regarding camels in their smash hit "My Humps":

Whatcha gonna do with all that junk
All that junk inside your trunk
So what do camels DO with all that neat junk inside that trunk hump?  Well, it's actually not water in that hump but fat, sometimes more than 80lbs of it that they can metabolize into energy when they are in the middle of desert really far away from the nearest Arby's.  Since their insulation is concentrated in one location in their hump trunk and not distributed around their whole body they hardly sweat and can travel up to 100 miles in the desert. 
Courtesy Britannica
Camels could also be compared to ecstasy obsessed teenagers as they very efficient water drinkers. Yet, camels can drink 30 gallons of water in 13 minutes and they don't die of an electrolyte imbalance and brain swelling.  That's a lot of water, how neat is that!  
Courtesy Google Images
Arabian camels have adapted a number of characteristics that help them survive in the desert: they can close their nostrils so sand doesn't get in their business or they don't get high on cocaine when they hang out with Charlie Sheen. They have really bushy eyebrows, 2 rows of eyelashes and a 3rd clear eyelid all to shied them from the sun and sand.  
Finally, some words about the swollen hatchet wound, the vertical smile or the folded pancake better known as the camel toe. 
Courtesy Google Images
Camels walk on their toes much like a Caitlin Jenner in high heels but instead of a heel, Camels have a ball of fat that forms a soft pad on the bottom of its foot. The pad supports them much like a snowshoe and allows them to walk easily on the sand.  
Finally, some neatness that has recently been discovered about the camel is that camels actually originated in the high arctic forests of North America during the Eocene period around 45 million years ago and dispersed to Asia and west from there via the Bering Isthmus. Camels are AMERICAN!!!  Scientists believe their humps were adapted to get them through cold arctic winters and their broad feet to walk through the snow. Yet this camel was thought to be around 9 feet tall and weigh around a ton.  And instead of smoking 1 cigarette like Joe Camel they smoked at least a dozen at a time.