Leatherback Turtle

Although the tubular turtles Crush and Squirt in the righteous film Finding Nemo were actually Pacific green turtles, this week's Neat Animal of the Week is in the same superfamily Chelonioidea and is equally as radical and arguably neater in neature.  The leatherback turtle is the "blue whale" of turtles; they are the largest turtle on earth AND one of the largest living reptiles. They'll grow up to 7 feet long and reach nearly 2000 pounds. But ask any man with small hands and they'll tell you: size isn't everything. Lady Leatherbacks will tell you differently. The leatherbacks are lucky that they not only have the size thing going for them, they also have a whole lot of neatness on their side. 

Image: National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Fisheries

Leatherbacks can dive to depths of 4,200 feet, which is deeper than any other turtle, AND they can stay down for up to 85 minutes. Who knew Franklin the turtle wasn't such a pussy after all.  (Disclaimer: Franklin wasn't actually a leatherback turtle, but more likely a box turtle, which are totally pansy turtles.  It just rolled off the tongue so well.)

Leatherbacks are pelagic, meaning they spend most of their lives in the open ocean. After mating at sea, females come ashore to nest. At night they dig a hole in the sand, lay down around 100 eggs and then leave a large ruffled area to make it difficult for babysnatching terrorist predators to find the nest. They do this several times during nesting season at around 8-12 day intervals. I know what you're saying, "Max, these turtles come ashore and basically download a brownload of eggs in a hole once a week, what's so neat about that?"

I was able to sponsor some baby leatherbacks and release them into the ocean in Guatemala in 2010. The day was filled with fruit, rum and many tears. 

Well you jabroni jerkass, these leatherback mamas travel on average 3,700 miles to the exact beach they were born to bury their offspring after not having been there since they were a wee hatching. Western Pacific leatherbacks engage in a brain melting migration, swimming from nesting beaches in the western Pacific (primarily Indonesia, Papua New Guinea, and the Solomon Islands area) to noshing grounds in the eastern North Pacific (almost 7,000 miles). Holy Jebidiah peach cobbler that is so gee dang neat. See map below. 

Image: National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Fisheries

Unfortunately because of factors such as eggs taken by humans and other predators, falling victim to fishing lines and nets, or ingesting plastic mistaken for jellyfish, only 1/1000 leatherback hatchlings reach adulthood.  Very not-neat. 

Finally, as to the name. They are called leatherbacks not only because they were super into the show Sons of Anarchy and are honorary members of some West Coast biker gangs but also because they are the only sea turtle that doesn't have a bony shell.  Their top layer is actually 1.5 inch thick leathery, oil-saturated connective tissue overlaying loosely interlocking dermal bones.  

Keep on preserving the neatness in the universe and have a great week.